Why Not?

Okay, I guess I will start by saying I have been thinking about doing this for a year and looking at this blank page for a month. What motivated me to finally type something and hit send? A friend I have never met and a friend I haven't seen in 2 years.

After Graham died, a little over two years ago, I had a friend comment how much they were going to miss the care page updates I did for everyone. She even said to me "why not write a blog or something... Kathy's Inspirations....?" She may read this and remember that encounter. If you do, my friend, know that I never forgot it! At that time I really thought I was done with this page keeping stuff. Well, I guess God has another plan because I have "Stuff" I still need to say about this journey that our family is on.

Its taken two years to start because:

1. My world stopped spinning
2. Yours didn't

Can you imagine trying to catch up with everyone after two years?

Well, here I am I think. Maybe.... okay lets face it, I am not sure where I am or where I am going but I know it includes this blog.
This super special blog... Grahams Magic

I will anchor this blog with the scripture that I ended Graham's care page with.

Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
That was Graham. That is definitely magic. Now you get the name of the page!

What it will be about is unwritten. I hope it will be whatever you need at the moment. I think God works that way so I will trust that He will lead my words when I post.

I am embarking on a new adventure with a friend, I call her a friend, we have never met... shes kind of like a pen pal. Funny I know. God? Absolutely! I can't give details on the adventure, its still in the baby phase. I think God is going to do some supernatural growth though so it shouldn't be long.

You can thank her when I finally hit the publish button at the bottom of my screen!

I was relaying a thought to her about grief. Why would I want to stay in a place that is so painful? Why would I not be doing everything to move forward? Of course, my grief is not every ones, but we all have pain we can relate to this. My answer to the Why was.... I don't move forward because I have already done the hardest most challenging thing I could do. I lost a child. I navigate that everyday which is challenge enough don't you think? I know at the end of some, most days, I am physically and emotionally exhausted from the navigation. What more can be accomplished? I am just waiting my turn now! That is my thought process... not a bad process to me. The problem lies in how far behind you get. The fact you stop looking for anything.....let alone another challenge. (That is another post by the way.)

My pals response was very simple and very true. Why Not? She mentioned that along with that loss, I lost my fear. The worst has happened. What is there to be scared of? I have never thought of myself as fearless but you know what? I am! I absolutely live without the fear of tomorrow. What is the worse case scenario? I die and go be with Graham?

This doesn't mean I live reckless. I would love to hang glide again but I will not be jumping out of a plane. That to me is just craziness. I do want to see my grandchildren one day. What it does mean is, if I have already done the hardest thing I could ever do, what is stopping me from doing my life? I can do anything! Surely I can do this!
So here we go....

This brings us to the fact that in a second I am going to have to hit that publish button and begin this adventure......
I hope you will continue on this journey with me.
Why?????
Why Not?

Living out loud!
Kathy
Genesis 50:20